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Post by thatguyjames on Nov 8, 2007 15:02:45 GMT -5
Chapter 1
"Wun T'ousand an T'ree, Wun T'ousand an 'Our, Wun T'ousand an 'Ive, Wun T'ousand an...."
Tully stopped for a moment, his huge green index finger hanging in mid air, pointing to a stalactite on the ceiling of the cavern he lay in. Sitting up for a moment, he yelled over to a dark corner, illuminated only by a Gretchin who had been "plugged in" to a nearby electrical socket.
"Oi! Irunhed! What comes aftah Wun T'ousand an 'Ive?"
Looking up from his work, the MekBoy thought (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) for a moment.
"Dunno Boss. My bombz nevah las' past t'ree."
"Well sumwun's gotsa know!"
All around, the other orkz simply shrugged and went back to their individual pursuits. Noses resumed picking, rocks and Gretchin were again airborn, and the MekBoyz went back to working on their own projects. Tully sighed and laid down.
Looking back at the ceiling, Tully stopped, his brow furrowed in what could only be concentration ... or gas. He roared in frustration, grabbing a rock and chucking it off into the distance. The rock naturally went straight through a plate glass window on it's course, before colliding with a nearby cat.
"You stupid gitz! Now I gotz 'ta start all ovah again!"
With a sneer of disgust Tully began his arduous task of counting the stalactites again.
"Wun T'ousand an Wun, Wun T'ousand an Too, Wun T'ousand an T'ree..."
********
Gruntsnik was no runner, and today served as a good reminder of why. The obese ork waddled and puffed as fast as his legs could carry him. Around his neck was a bib, with about two or three weeks worth of food caked on. In one hand was a drumstick, which he gnawed on every time he stopped to catch his breath, which was often. The other hand was occupied with a piece of wood, on which a hastily scribbled note had been scribbled...hastily.
Though he had no idea what the note said, Gruntsnik was nonetheless compelled to carry it as fast as he could. He knew well and good if he was going to survive the night, he couldn't risk pissing off the Mega Nob who had given him the board with directions to carry it to Boss Tully "Or Else!"
Gruntsnik didn't know what exactly that meant, but the menacing sound of the Mega Nob chomping his Power Klaw at the fat ork was enough to convince him of the severity of the situation. The several rounds unloaded at him as he began to run helped to reinforce this sentiment. The Mega Nob still couldn't believe he had missed something so large and slow as Gruntsnik.
Sighing sadly as he sucked the last piece of meat off the bone, Gruntsnik tossed his finished drumstick into a nearby squig pen. The grot who inadvertently caught it was instantly devoured.
Bursting into Tully's "Tinkin Spot", Gruntsnik heaved and puffed as he made the final few steps, collapsing at Tully's side. The board in both hands outstretch to his beloved Boss. The two remained absolutely motionless, Tully still in his counting position, Gruntsnik barely breathing as he lay face down in the dirt. The cavern was deadly silent, all eyes fixed on this intruder.
Tully's face suddenly contorted, and the room will filled with the echoing crack of a loud belch. Several of the orkz clapped.
"Ahhh, tha's better. Now, Gruntsnik, wha's so important dat youz got ta interrupt me tinkin time."
The message on the board was clear enough. "Jobs a goodin, Boss."
Tully smiled.
*****
Walking outside of the cavern, Tully stretched lazily in the blazing mid afternoon sunlight. The sky was almost white, illuminated by the three suns in the system the Orkz occupied. The cracked dry desert floor crumbled and turned to dust under the massive tread of the mighty Ork Warboss.
Tully worked his way through the main camp, pushing several nobs out of the way, and booting some of the regular sized orkz in the process. In his right hand was "Ole' Reli'ble" a massive club adorned with spikes and rude limericks about your mother. He used the weapon liberally to clear his way through the crowds of orkz, and smash the occasional grotling who wandered too close.
Though the camp could easily be described as a series of piles of miscellaneous crap, the specific pile of miscellaneous crap Tully was looking for was just over the ridge up ahead. He could already hear the din of engines at work, and the labored stressing of steel and iron. Occasionally a small burst of static electricity would send several grotlings flying in different directions.
As Tully came over the hill, he looked down into a home made crater which housed the machine he had ordered built at the conclusion of his last Waaaagh!
It was glorious.
Well over 300 tons of scrap metal, discarded or looted from the Imperium and the Tau, cobbled together, reaching a good four stories in the air. The main structure was roughly the shape of a pyramid, with a gigantic crystal sitting at the apex, hand looted by Tully himself after his triumph over a nasty encounter with a Necron Monolith. The rest of structure that was not dedicated to supporting the huge crystal housed a number of engines, turbines, rockets, and other such propulsion devices. There were even a few small compartments that hosted an exercise wheel with a desert rat inside.
Standing in front of the mechanical mess was Tully's head MekBoy, Wolf J. Flywheel, Flywheel for short. His hand resting on a giant wrench, he took a puff of his cigar, letting the hazy smoke fill the air before him. He smiled ear to ear, watching his latest invention come to life.
"What'chu t'ink Boss?"
Tully wiped a tear from his eye. "Iz bootiful Flywheel"
Tully put his hand level with his chin.
"Evah since I was dis high I always wanted me own monaliff. Now I finely gotz wun a me very own."
Tully put his arm around Flywheel's shoulder, who had also started to cry.
"Iz bootiful Boss."
The two slobbering fools managed to compose themselves after a minute, Tully scooping up a nearby grot to use a makeshift handkerchief.
"Well den, lets take it fer a spin ey?!"
*****
As Gruntsnik finally regained consciousness, he was surprised to find himself in a cave. He didn't remember going into a cave, or even having been near one. The momentary confusion fell away as he realized just how hungry he was. Waddling over to the entrance of the cave, he began his search for the nearest semi-edible thing to munch on. He didn't make it far when the ground began to shake violently.
Falling over, Gruntsnik was shocked to see the massive Ork Monolith spinning over the camp, the mad laughter of Tully booming over the mass of engines.
*****
"Dis is great fun eh Flywheel?"
"Sure iz Boss. Now whatever you do, don't hit that butt'n."
"Dis butt'n 'ere?"
"No Boss! Don' do i..."
*****
The monolith began to spin quickly. It continued to gain momentum, kicking up a considerable amount of dust, sand, and grots. The monolith spun ever quicker, its form blurring until it was no longer discernible.
Then, with a mighty crack, it was gone.
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Post by thatguyjames on Nov 9, 2007 14:41:04 GMT -5
Chapter 2
Tully couldn't remember the last time he had so much fun.
Whirling around at insane speeds, Tully and Flywheel were laughing madly when the enormous centrifugal forces weren't threatening to crush their bodies. When the Ork Monolith hit critical speed, the result crack of time-space being shattered was the last thing the pair remembered before passing out from the shock.
*****
"Ugggggh. Me 'ead. I 'avnt felt like 'dis since...yesterday."
Tully sat up slowly, cradling his enormous skull between his hands. Resting his elbows on his knees, he groaned again, trying not to look at the sunlight.
It wasn't until several minutes had past that Tully realized he sitting in a foot of swamp water. Slowly letting his eyes get adjusted to the light, Tully was taken aback to find himself surrounded by dense vegetation.
"What in the bleedin 'ell?"
"Hey Boss!"
Tully looked up to see Flywheel dangling from the branches of a mighty tree. The Mekboy's legs were thoroughly entangled in the vines and branches, leaving his upper torso to helplessly drift as he struggled to free himself.
When he finished laughing, Tully managed to ask Flywheel how he got up there.
"Dunno Boss. Last ting I rememba was spinnin about, an now everytings gone."
Tully made several attempts to stand up, each followed by several curses strung together. When he managed to regain his footing, Tully took stock of the situation. He and his Mekboy were indeed alone in the swamp. His other boyz were no where to be seen, as was the Monolith they had just been piloting.
It wasn't until this point that Tully realized everything was well and truly gone...down to the shirt on his back.
"Son of a grot herder, where's me clothes?!"
"Hehehe, youz nekkid Boss."
"Shut yer trap ya git! We'z bof nekkid!"
Flywheel looked down, or up depending on how you look at it, and shrieked at the realization that his Boss was right.
"Me clothes....Me Toolz!"
Flywheel's violent convulsions were enough to shake him free of the tree. The ork plummeted down into the swamp water beside his boss. He barely noticed the impact. Curled in a fetal position, Flywheel rocked back and forth in the water.
"No Toolz....I'z feel so cold all uf a sudden...so cold."
Tully smacked Flywheel upside the head as he walked past.
"Come on ya git. We need ta findz us some new tings. You needz ya' Toolz and I needz some war bitz. I can't be a propah boss wif-out me weaponz an armur."
Tully hadn't made it more than five feet when the water around him exploded. A massive reptile burst from a nearby deep pool, intent on making the Warboss into lunch. Tully looked down at the nasty jaw clamped around his leg with an expression of fascination.
"Oi Flywheel! I gotz a cunnin' plan."
*****
Strapping on the last piece of bone armor, Tully sighed in satisfaction. Behind him lay the remains of several of the swamp predators. Flywheel now sported an impressive armor set made from a collection of the thick leathery skins. He had even managed to fashion a few rudimentary toolz from some of the larger bones that Tully hadn't used for his armor. Snapping a huge branch from a nearby tree, Tully looked it up and down with the discerning air of a connoisseur.
"Tain't ol' Reli'ble, but it'll do."
*****
"You know Boss, I been tinkin'"
"Oh great, ere' we go."
Tully stopped in his tracks and turned to face his Mekboy.
"Ow many times I gots ta tell ya, no tinkin! If der's gunna be anywun in dis outfit who comez up wiff idearz, iz gunna be me! 'Atz why I'z da Boss!"
"Sorry Boss."
"Dat's right you Iz! An anuther ting!"
Tully's rant was cut short by the sound of a tree being felled in the distance. It wasn't so much the sound of destruction that attracted his attention as it was the resulting cheers of approval. He knew that sound very well.
Orkz.
Tully could start rebuilding his Waaaagh again. Tully hefted his club over his shoulder and walked off with a smile on his face, Flywheel in tow.
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Post by Fenrisulfr on Dec 10, 2007 22:43:46 GMT -5
More please! Me like Tully
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Post by thatguyjames on Dec 12, 2007 11:47:21 GMT -5
Chapter 3
"Orkz! Orkz! Orkz! Orkz!"
The chanting grew louder as the mighty tree began it's slow decent.
"Orkz! Orkz! Orkz! Orkz!"
A number of boyz ran up to the stump where it had been weakened, blasting the exposed pulp with their shootas. Those in the back climbed over those in the front, standing rather unsteadily on the heads of their comrades. The tower of ballistic fire cracked and barked as it obliterated what was left of the base of tree.
"Orkz! Orkz! Orkz! Orkz!"
The orkz danced around the tree as it continued to gain velocity. It wasn't long before the massive timber slammed into the swamp ground, pulverizing anything in it's way, including at least a dozen orkz. Standing in venerated silence, the orkz observed their handywork, and what was left of those who hadn't made it out of the way...
... ... ...
"Orkz! Orkz! Orkz! Orkz!"
In the midst of the mob stood one bigger and meaner than the rest: a Nob called Keg armed with a gun of equal disposition. The massive helmet that sat on his head constantly slid down over his eyes, making finding a target quite difficult. However, his gigantic firearm more than made up for his lack of accuracy.
"Allright you gitz! Let's get a move on!"
"Orkz! Orkz! Orkz! Orkz!"
"Oi! Youz not listenin!"
"Orkz! Orkz! Orkz! Orkz!"
Sighing in exasperation, Keg slammed the butt of his massive blunderbuss on the ground. The weapon discharged with a thunderous explosion. Even the hearty orkz were physically shaken by the shockwave. Several seconds later, a dead swamp crow landed at Keg's feet.
"Quiet!"
...
"Now, if youz all dun actin like a propah lot of squig herderz, we can git on wiff it."
Lowering their heads in submission, the rest of the orkz began plodding forward, their bottom lips out in proper pouting position.
Keg led the way, using his blunderbuss as a walking stick. As he walked, he constantly had to readjust his helmet: a large cauldron he had looted and banged a few spikes through for good measure. After he had made sure all the spikes were facing outwards, the helmet was quite comfortable, although the nail ends in his skull itched sometimes.
It during one of Keg's black outs that he walked full steam into yet another tree, not an entirely unexpected event in the middle of a heavily forested swamp. Stopping in his tracks, Keg lifted his helmet to observe that which was obstructing his path. Seeing the tree, he sighed. The other orkz looked on in eager anticipation.
"Guess this one'll ave to come down too."
"Orkz! Orkz! Orkz! Orkz!"
*****
Watching as the newest round of demolition began, Tully and Flywheel couldn't help but be impressed.
Standing a good 500 feet behind Keg and his gang of Shoota Boyz, Tully observed the tree they had just gunned down, as well as the one before that... and the one before that. Turning to look the other way, Tully squinted to see if he could see the beginning of the destruction as it stretched into the distance. It had to be miles of trees that had been pulverized, stretching far over the horizon.
"Quiet!"
The distant burst of Keg's blunderbuss sent ripples through the air, making Tully's new bone armor click and clatter. Flywheel whistled appreciatively.
"Now 'at's a big shoota."
Tully watched as a new swamp crow plummeted to the ground, landing at Keg's feet.
"We gotz ta stop em before dey kill demselves cutting down trees."
Tully turned to look at his Mekboy. Flywheel's face was one of utter confusion.
"Not dat it wouldn't be funny enough to watch em blow demselves up, but we can't have a propah Mob just the two of us."
"You sure is smart Boss."
*****
"Alright now, dis time we ain't gonna 'ave any more tree in da way."
Helmet completely obscuring his vision, Keg began his trek yet again, his mob in tow. He hadn't made it fifty yards when, shockingly, he ran into another tree. As Keg took stock of the situation, his boyz began to train their weapons on the unfortunate vegetation, twitching with barely restrained glee.
"Guess dis one'll have to come down t..."
"Oi!"
Keg was so shocked he immediately whirled around, slamming his blunderbuss on the ground reflexively. As the swamp crow landed at his feet, he struggled to readjust his helmet.
"Who dat talkin?"
As he pulled his helmet up, keg found himself having to raise it significantly higher than normal. Towering over the nob, Tully looked down with a questioning glare. Keg didn't entirely know what to do, having never encountered an ork larger than himself. Slowly he raised his blunderbuss, the only item of authority he had ever had.
Tully shook his head. "Dun do it lad, or yer in fer a world a hurtin'"
Keg continued regardless. He had never actually fired the weapon at anything before, though he was singularly responsible for the extinction of several species of birds. Bearing that in mind, he figured if ever there was a time to actually fire the gun at something, this giant Ork was it.
Tully didn't give Keg half a chance. Before the gun was even close to being pointed at the Boss, he smashed his massive tree branch club into the Nob's helmet. The resulting bell sound rang through the swamp. Keg staggered back, his head buzzing and ringing like... well it buzzed and rang all the time but it still hurt ok?
Tully looked at the giant cauldron now adhered to his club via the spikes that protruded from the outside. Turning to a small boulder, Tully swung the contraption hard, shattering the iron clear in half, leaving only his club, newly endowed with a nasty set of spikes.
Keg gapsed.
"Me 'at! You broke me 'at! Son of a grot herder it's bright out 'ere."
Tully smacked Keg upside the head.
"Now you listen ere ya Nob, you wurk fer me now! If I 'ere one complaint, I'll crack ya anuther one, and dis time you won't have yer 'at to save ya."
Stunned, Keg stood slowly, his head still a little more dizzy than normal.
"OK Boss."
"Gud, now watch dis."
Tully walked up to the tree that Keg had been about to destroy. Poking it with his club, he looked at the other boyz. Though confused about the transfer of power that had just happened, they quickly fell back into pace, recognizing what was about to happen.
But to everyone's complete shock, Tully took a single step to the left, walking clear past the tree. Keg's jaw dropped, as did ever other ork's.
"He...he just walked around it."
"Is brilliant..why didn't we tink of that?"
Stepping in front with a proud smile on his face flywheel motioned to follow.
"An' at's why he's da boss!"
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Post by Fenrisulfr on Dec 12, 2007 12:32:40 GMT -5
Thank you!!! ;D
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Post by thatguyjames on Dec 12, 2007 12:50:09 GMT -5
Chapter 4
"Hey Boss!"
Flywheel caught up with Tully as he trudged through the swamp.
"Some of the boys wants to know where weez goin."
Tully stopped in his tracks. He hadn't thought of... well not much to be honest with you. Of the few things that had actually managed to cross Tully's mind that day, his destination was not one of them.
"Good question Flywheel. Where are we anyways?"
"Dunno Boss. I think it's a swamp."
*****
As Flywheel stood up, rubbing the new bruise on his head, Tully was busy surveying the immediate area.
"OK, we'z officially lost."
Immediately all the orkz around Tully began screaming and running circles.
"We'z all gunna die!"
Tully smacked Keg, who responsively slammed his blunderbuss on the ground, effectively ending the panic, as well as another swamp crow.
"Enough racket now. I'z gunna get us unlost. We just need some uh dat.... what's the hummies call it? Intellagince."
Tully looked at his boyz. Those who weren't busy picking their noses were staring off blankly into space. One of the orkz farted and the rest burst out laughing. Tully cradled his head in his hands.
"We'z doomed."
"What Boss?"
"Nuthin. Now, if we came from dat way den we must be travelin dis way."
Several Orks applauded.
"Quiet! Now, if we keep going dis way, do we leave the swamp?"
Keg nodded.
"Gud. Are der more orkz out dat way?"
Keg nodded.
"Real gud....is you listenin' to me?"
Keg nodded.
"Youz ignorin' me izn't you?"
Keg nodded.
*****
Pushing a bush out of the way, Tully sighed, knowing he had finally cleared the swamp wall. Behind him Flywheel followed with the other boys. Several of the boyz carried Keg's unconscious form, another two supporting his blunderbuss.
Before the small Mob spread out a brief stretch of grasslands before falling off into a rocky wasteland.
Tully smiled.
*****
As the deep red sun set on the horizon, a formation of Chimeras crested the top of the ridge. The visage of the tanks was distorted by heat waves, as were the soldiers who they transported. Looking through a pair of binoculars, the man who stood proud of the top hatch surveyed the surrounding area. All around, no matter where he looked, it was the same thing. Rock, Rocks, Rocks, Rocks, Rocks, Gigantic Ork About to Smash my Head in, Rocks, Rocks....
Flywheel kicked the back hatch of the Chimera, triggering the release mechanism. The stunned guardsmen inside barely had time to shout in surprise before the shoota boys outside emptied their guns into them.
Staring with the crew, Tully literally tore his way through the second Chimera. Once inside, the tank rocked back and forth violently with all manner of shouting and screaming. Tully burst from the back hatch, covered in blood and laughing the whole way.
The third Chimera did the smart thing and took off. However, in exposing their back to the orkz, Keg had a weak enough target for his blunderbuss to actually do some damage. The enormous solid slug round tore through the Chimera, bursting out the front end.
*****
"That was nice boyz. Maybe I'll keep you 'round after all."
Laying on his back, Tully finished the last of the sergeant he had been having for dessert. Gathered around a oil fire, the shoota boyz joked and ate.
Off in the back, Flywheel directed several of the larger shoota boyz to drag and push the chimeras together. From the innards and the maintenance hatches, he had managed to assemble some vital Toolz. With three Chimera's reasonably in tact, Flywheel had more than enough raw materials to assemble his latest creation. He worked all night, the happiest he had been since he had finished his Monaliff.
*****
As the morning sun poured down on the badlands, Tully stretched lazily. Sitting up, he looked over his boyz, all asleep where they had fallen over the previous night. He got up and walked to the boulder Flywheel had been working behind all night. As he rounded the corner, he had to rub his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
The three hulls wielded together, Flywheel had created a super transport. It sported all six tread systems from it's predecessor, two on the right and four on the left. Regardless, the wagon looked capable of real speed. Tully walked up next to his Mekboy, his eyes gleaming with excitement.
"Flywheel...is bootiful... where'd you git that cigar?"
"In the glove compartment Boss."
"Heh, I knew them humies was gud fer somethin."
Tully looked at his new wagon. The Waaagh was alive and well, and god help us all, it was now mobile.
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Post by Ranger Dude on Dec 12, 2007 14:26:06 GMT -5
Most excellent James. Good ork writing...er...writing about orks..or something like that.
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Soleman
Chapter Master
The "Strait Talkin"
Posts: 1,389
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Post by Soleman on Dec 12, 2007 14:51:48 GMT -5
Excellent! I love reading about orkz.
Keep it coming!
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Post by thatguyjames on Dec 13, 2007 9:52:37 GMT -5
Chapter 5
Engines roaring, Tully laughed and cheered as the wagon crested a steep ridge, becoming airborne for a brief moment before smashing back into the earth. Waving his club in the air, he screamed in pure joy. Those shoota boyz who were not busy holding on for dear life shouted back.
Though of sturdy enough construction, the wagon itself was somewhat difficult to pilot. Given that Flywheel had put twice as many tank treads on one side more than the other, the wagon was naturally inclined to drive in circles favoring the side with four treads. However, with a bit of expert driving on Flywheel's part, it was possible to coax the wagon to drive in slightly larger circles.
The orkz had been driving in one ever widening circle all day. They hadn't covered more than a couple of miles as the crow flies(or at least would have flown if Keg hadn't shot it down), but they were having far too much fun to care. It was actually quite fortunate for those who fell off, as they only had to wait a few minutes before their ride returned to hop back on.
As they hit a straightaway, Tully turned to Keg, shouting over the roaring wind.
"'Ow much further till we find sum mo' boyz?!"
"You want to stop off for some more toyz?"
"No no no! Wherez da boyz?"
"Da whut?"
"Da Boyz!"
Staring at Tully blankly, Keg pointed at the shoota boyz in the back of the wagon bouncing around and trying not to fall off.
"Stop dis 'ere ting!"
Flywheel slammed on the brakes (Yes, he actually remembered to include those, he's an unconventional ork like that). The boyz in the back all went piling into the dividing wall to the drivers seat in the front. Several were catapulted clear of the wagon itself, landing head first in the dirt.
Grabbing Keg by the skull, Tully lifted the Nob straight off his seat.
"Now, where are der' more boyz for me Mob?"
Slightly upset about being suspended by his cranium, Keg managed to point off into the distance, towards a rock formation several hundred miles away.
"Lotsa boyz der Boss."
Tully nodded to Flywheel. Strapping his goggles on, flywheel revved the engines several times before taking off again. Driving in a straight line proved to be much more of a challenge for the Ork. While he was able to head in one general direction, it involved a lot of drifting off course, followed by a violently harsh correction. Boyz went flying, most managed to stay on board, a few got knocked off, and one managed to get himself run over. A good time had by all to be sure.
*****
It was nearing mid day when Tully and his boyz arrived.
"Hey Boss, is we der yet?"
"Shut it!"
"I gots'ta go Boss."
"Den go alredy!"
Tully hopped off the hood of the engine block, walking towards the first of the stones. It was a mesa with a swirling path around the edge leading to the top. Looking at the top, Tully squinted. It was an overflowing mass of green.
"Der's gotsa be a mill'yun boyz up der...."
As Tully completed his estimate, a screaming ork landed at the base of the mesa, splattering on impact. Tully and his boyz all pulled back reflexively, shouting in disgust.
"Dat ain't right Boss..."
"Make it a mill'yun minus wun den."
Flywheel looked up at the mesa.
"So we'z gunna go get em den Boss?"
Tully shook his head.
"I'd be crackin 'eads all day, no time for any propah Boss things."
Tully nodded quietly to himself.
"We'z gunna need Nobs...lots and lots of Nobs."
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Post by thatguyjames on Dec 13, 2007 16:24:46 GMT -5
Chapter 6
Tully grabbed onto the side of the wagon as Flywheel jerked the wheel hard to the right. Without his shoota boyz to weigh the back down, the wagon was now much more prone to becoming airborne or riding on a single track. This new difficulty was offset by the massive increase in speed. Without several thousand pounds of orkz to haul around, the wagon was really flying. The air whipping through the exposed front seat, Tully hung onto the frame with one massive hand, the other keeping a hold on his club.
Their destination was fast approaching. A mountainous volcano sprouted out of the landscape some miles to the east of the mesa that played host to the army of boyz. When Tully spotted the volcano, he immediately knew where he had to go.
Screeching to a halt where the rocky landscape turned jagged, Flywheel turned around and threw out a makeshift anchor. It wasn't chained to the wagon, but it made him feel better all the same. The pair dropped out of the wagon, Tully walking with a confident air. Flywheel's gait was much more cautious, holding a large wrench out of in front of him protectively.
"I dun like the lookz a dis' place Boss."
"Shut yer gob. I knowz what I'z doin."
Tully continued directly into the rocky landscape. The sharp igneous rocks crunched and pulverized under Tully's feet. The Boss looked at his bootless appendages, shaking his head.
"I'z gunna need propah warbitz soon. I dun even have a pointy stick fer me humie skullz."
Ahead, the trail began weaving it's way uphill. An old lava tube that had broken the surface had carved a smooth, glassy ravine. Tully moved on with his increasingly nervous Mekboy in tow. Flywheel knew they were being watched, though he couldn't tell by what.
Kicking a waist high boulder out of the way, Tully emerged into a giant crater. What awaited him on the other side did not surprise him. Surrounding he and his Mekboy had to be at least fifty Nobs. All packed an impressive host of weapons, all manner of choppas, shootas, and everything in between. They all glared with malicious intent.
At the head of the brutal mob was a massive Nob decked out in super thick plates of steel, custom bolted together over his body. Each arm sprouted into an enormous weapon. The name of the owner was hand scratched on the front of the iron gob: Rook. Sitting atop a throne of scrap metal and bone, the enormous half mechanical beast glared at Tully.
"What'chu want gretchin?"
Tully raised one eyebrow.
"What'd you call me?"
Leaning forward, the Mega Nob glared out at the bone clad Boss from behind his metal exoskeleton. His eyes glowed with violence. he spoke slowly, and with purpose.
"I said what'chu want gretchin?"
"Right!"
"No Boss! They'z gunna croak ya! Let's git out of 'ere!"
Tully smashed Flywheel with a vicious backhand, sending the Mekboy tumbling away.
"No wun, but no wun calls me anything but Boss!"
Leaping up from his perch, Rook opened up on the charging Ork Boss, his kustom megablasta filling the air with bullets. Tully took several of the on the way in, but they failed to leave any lasting damage. The bone armor exploded on impact, sending hails of white shards in the air. Tully roared, swinging his club with all his might, connecting solidly with the Nob's main body armor.
The club shattered.
Wood splinters went flying everywhere, filling the air with a mist of chips and shards.
Tully stared downfounded at the club stump. Looking up at the Meganob, he threw it down to the ground, raising his massive fists.
"You'z gunna pay fer dat."
Before Rook could fire off his shoota, Tully slammed into him, the pair crashing into the ground. Tully rolled over the Nob, barely evading the crackling jaw of Rook's Power Klaw. Grabbing the top slab of metal that covered Rook's head, Tully pulled with everything he had. One by one, the rivets shattered, revealing the cranium of the shocked Ork.
"Oi! Dat cost a lot of teef ya know!"
"Yu shuld git yer monie back den!"
Now armed with a quasi-square hunk of steel, Tully slammed Rook in the head. The impact gave off a sound something akin to a large gong. Rook rolled on the ground, holding his head. Tully stood up, the metal sheet now bearing a perfect impression of Rook's head.
Tossing the twisted metal aside, he grabbed for a nearby boulder when a Nob jumped down from his perch.
"No using any'fing but choppas and shootas! Dem's da rulz!"
"Well I'd hate to be breakin da rulz, so I'z just break yu den!"
Tully grabbed the nob by the back of the head, smashing his face into the boulder. Lifting a pair of choppas from the Nob's unconscious form, Tully turned to face his opponent again. Rook had recovered, though sparks now flew from exposed wires where the top of his Mega armor should have been. Snapping his Power Klaw at the Boss, the Nob advanced menacingly.
Tully charged again, taking several solid slug rounds to the chest. The bullets simply bounced off or caused abrasions. Tully bled, but not enough to fall.
This time, a little more evenly matched, the Boss was a whirlwind of choppas. Rook staggered back under the immense attack, Tully taking the opportunity to cut straight into the Nob's kustom shoota. The red hot gun sputtered and wound down as the power faded from it.
Rook strung together a series of cusses and insults worthy of a major award as Tully continued the assault. For all his impressive gear, the Boss was just too big to be beat. Rook managed to cut Tully deep with a chance swing of the Power Klaw, but his suit was fast running out of energy.
"Dis call fer desp'ate mesurez."
Rook reached down quickly and pressed a small red button on the arm that had previously held his shoota. A small box deployed on top of his arm, firing a missile at Tully. The Boss instantly recognized it as a stikk bomb.
"Oh no you doesn't!"
Dropping his choppas, Tully grabbed the missile mid air. Holding the still firing rocket in one hand, he wound up with his other. Rook tried to block, but his arms fell helplessly to his side. His suit was out of juice.
Tully swung with the force of a charging bull. His right fist collided with the outstretched iron gob of the mega armor, shattering the tempered metal. Rook's real jaw hung open in shock, which was a real shame for him, because the big surprise was about to happen.
Tully shoved the stikk bomb down the Nob's throat.
Grabbing the metal block from before, Tully reapplied it to the Nob's face, pummeling the other plates into place over it, sealing Rook and his stomach bomb in his suit. Rook struggled with everything he had, but the massive weight of the suit prevented him from putting up a real fight. Tully knelt on his good arm holding him down. Flywheel and Rook's Nobs looked on in silence.
Suddenly, the suit jumped a little bit, and smoke began pouring out from the vents.
For a moment, the Nobs were silent, having just witnessed their former leader being detonated in such a manner. Tully stood up slowly, holding his gut where he had been wounded. It was already starting to heal.
"Anywun else want's a piece uh da Boss?!"
...
"Den git in the bleedin wagon before I crack ya wun!"
*****
Climbing the final twist of the path up to the crest of the mesa, Tully watched with supreme satisfaction. Everywhere he could see, literally every square inch of the plateau, was covered with Nobs cracking heads. Boyz ran everywhere, trying to avoid the massive beating, but to no avail. It would only be a few hours before the entire mob would be subjugated. Several thousand orkz would soon be under control, and with it, a new Waaaagh was inevitable.
Hefting his new club, fashioned from Rook's old armor, Tully began wading into the frenzy. After all, it wouldn't be a proper thrashing without the Boss.
Teh End
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Post by Fenrisulfr on Dec 13, 2007 19:12:21 GMT -5
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH nnnnoooooooooooo....I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to find out what happens to Tully. And let me tell you, the edge of my seat isn't very comfortable. Thanks for the stories James, I really enjoy reading them. Hopefully after you are published you will remember us little folks.
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Soleman
Chapter Master
The "Strait Talkin"
Posts: 1,389
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Post by Soleman on Dec 13, 2007 22:31:17 GMT -5
If you enjoy these stories, you should play D&D with him as your DM. Never a dull moment. Good stuff James!
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Post by thatguyjames on Dec 14, 2007 13:48:21 GMT -5
Thanks guys. I don't think I've ever had so much fun writing a story.
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Post by Fenrisulfr on Dec 14, 2007 16:45:17 GMT -5
D'oh. James you are a tease. I saw you had posted here and I was all excited for the next chapter of Tully's Tale. taps foot...hits the refresh button nothing yet hits refresh button....hits refresh button NNNNOOOOO <sigh> Oh well, I guess I have to go do some work or something.
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Post by thatguyjames on Dec 14, 2007 18:05:02 GMT -5
Umm, go read chapter 6 again.
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