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Post by Lord Dacius on Jan 7, 2009 21:16:09 GMT -5
WTF, i didnt type the manly part. I think i might be hacked? idk
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Post by thatguyjames on Jan 7, 2009 21:20:10 GMT -5
You want creative? Try this one on for size...
170 miles directly east by southeast from the euro-russian border is a small hamlet in one of the ex-soviet block countries. The town in question is named Ghesteltevik. Don't bother trying to google map it, because it's too small to appear on even the most advanced satellite imagery.
This town has a special significance because it is one of the few locations left in the civilized world to employ an authentic village idiot. There is literally some azzhole in this town that does nothing else besides wander around scratching himself and shouting obscenities at the local livestock. He also enjoys throwing rocks into the air and trying to dodge them; an activity he often fails.
Ghesteltevik is also of significance because every two weeks the townsfolk gather around a large bonfire and kill the village idiot. I'm not using this as a euphemism, they actually roast the poor bastard alive and piss on the ashes. Obviously with such a high mortality rate, the town has to go to great lengths to import new people all the time and to employ them for two weeks to be the dumbest jacka$$ ever known to mankind.
So why go to such expensive, and illegal lengths? Why such a brutal and merciless cycle of idiocy and murder?
Because of you Dragon.
Your cosmically low intellect has caused a global shift in humanity's collective intelligence rating in such a negative light that there are actually aliens that want to exterminate us now. Unbeknown to the common man, there is a galactic council that meets every other Wednesday to review the lesser lifeforms in the universe and to judge whether or not they are fit to continue existing or whether they might just need to be wiped off the face of their respective planet for a global reboot.
For years humankind has teetered dangerously close to the red line on the chart marked "special" and your continued posting on this very board has caused the needle to drop at an alarming rate.
Thankfully back in Ghesteltevik the humble townsfolk are ever vigilant, seeking and destroying other stupid people to appease our celestial masters. Only their continued slaughter of hundreds of idiots over the past years has saved us all from the deathrayOMFGitsGONNAkillUSall machine.
And Doug... go f--k yourself.
;D x7
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Post by "LAST FREAK'N DRAGON" on Jan 7, 2009 21:50:30 GMT -5
BEAUTIFUL, F___ING BEAUTIFUL. YES THAT IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE! ;D ;D ;D
WELL, THERE IS M.I.B. (MEN IN BLACK) AND ONE MEMBER HAS A CODE NAME "DRAGON." THIS INDIVIDUAL HAD A CLOSE ENCOUNTER, SAD BUT TRUE.
I ENJOYED THE STORY FROM RUSSIA AND HOPE ONE OF THE HUNDRED NON POSTING ZOMBIES MIGHT ALSO SHARE IN AN AMAZING STORY OR TAIL.
TRADITIONS HERE ARE SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT, ONE IN PARTICULAR IS TO DRAG AROUND IN OLD MUSTANGS TILL THE TIRES ARE BURNED OFF AND THEN CELEBRATING THE TIRES DESTRUCTION BY SLAMMING A COAL SHOVEL INTO YOUR FOREHEAD, YA IT'S TRUE.
IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO SHARE THEIR OWN RUN ON SENTENCE, FEEL FREE.
THANKS JAMES, AND HAVE A NICE DAY!
CIAO!
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