Post by Garou24 on Jun 2, 2008 13:20:14 GMT -5
I was sitting at work daydreaming about Warhammer 40k. (something I do alot of, ask John and Tammy) And I was thinking of a Titan Datasheet when a fellow co-worker walked.. no pranced by. This co-worker is probably the most despised person in our department, possibly the whole building. And I started to wonder what a titan Datasheet would look like if it was based off his mannerisms. With his parasite ability to leach off others, and his constant brown nosing to the managers, homosexual tendencies, the way he "helps" you while actually screwing you over etc rules based off this would make for an interesting game.
I am sure its funnier to John and Myself since we work with this person, but I figured I would post it for giggles.
Feel free to create a rule set for your most despised co-workers
Tylenda Terror Titan Datasheet 1750 points + a kick in the Junk
WS 4, BS 4, F 14, S 14, R 1, I 5, Ld 3
Due to multiple previous penetrating hits, the Tylenda Terror Titan's rear armor is only 1
If a unit scores a penetrating hit on the titan's rear armor, roll a D6 for each model in that unit. On a 4+ they take an automatic wound due to Strange Toxin Disease
Weapons
Close Combat weapons are Strength 6
Laptop Throwing Temper Tantrum (24-360" STR 8 AP 3 Ordinance)
All night monitoring Core Advance Faint (effects all units within 12" of the titan as is falls from exhaustion, 2 D6 hits per unit STR 10 AP 3)
Cory's 2 cents Havoc Missile Launcher (During the shooting phase roll a D6, on a 5-6 the tylenda Terror Titan will give you his thoughts on a problem, all units enemy and friendly within 24" suffer 4 instant death wounds, no saves allowed)
Titan Special Rules and Movement
Tylenda Terror Titan always has the special ability Fleet (instead of shooting you may roll a D6. Move a number of inches equal to that on the D6) This accounts for its unnaturally awkward walk and tendencies to rush around a lot.
He's and Odd One: At the beginning of the turn roll a D6 for the Tylenda Terror Titan's Movement. Consult the chart below for Titan Movement.
Roll of 1 Urgent Issues Email. Remove the Titan from the Game. The titan has sent an email about urgent issues he is busy working on and will not be at the game. You may not use other units to make up the lost points. If you have a tech marine character on the table you may reroll this die but you must accept the second result. (your better off without him!!!!
Roll of 2 Asskiss of Death. Remove the Titan from the table and deepstrike it into you opponents deployment zone close to their Commander or HQs. The titan is unable to shoot or assault this turn and instead makes a Brown Nose psychic check. If it passes, all your opponents units gain a +1 to leadership and an extra attack during that turn. Your teams units movement is halved for the turn.
Roll of 3 Vacation Day. Remove the titan from the game during your turn. During your opponent's turn, after they have chosen all their targets that are not the titan, place the titan back on the board saying "I decided to come in to work today instead."
Roll of 4 Player controls normally.
Roll of 5 Soooo BUSY! Move the Titan 4D6 inches towards your deployment table edge. The titan is too busy with issues and calls to shoot or assault this turn. If this results in the titan moving off the table, you may redeploy the titan next turn via the Deepstrike rules.
Roll of 6 Mentoring. Your opponent selects a unit within 12" of the titan. During the movement phase the titan will follow that unit movement as closely as possible. All shots fired must pass a target priority check or they will hit the unit the titan is "mentoring".
Structure Points: 4
Void Shields: 2
Reactor Overload! In the event that all structure points are removed the titan will create an apocalyptic explosion. Remove the Tylenda Terror Titan and replace it with a crater. Due to the large blast all units within 24" are removed from the game. If this overload occurred during a turn where a roll of Sooooo BUSY! was rolled, then the added stress on the titan's reactor doubles the explosion radius to 48"
I am sure its funnier to John and Myself since we work with this person, but I figured I would post it for giggles.
Feel free to create a rule set for your most despised co-workers
Tylenda Terror Titan Datasheet 1750 points + a kick in the Junk
WS 4, BS 4, F 14, S 14, R 1, I 5, Ld 3
Due to multiple previous penetrating hits, the Tylenda Terror Titan's rear armor is only 1
If a unit scores a penetrating hit on the titan's rear armor, roll a D6 for each model in that unit. On a 4+ they take an automatic wound due to Strange Toxin Disease
Weapons
Close Combat weapons are Strength 6
Laptop Throwing Temper Tantrum (24-360" STR 8 AP 3 Ordinance)
All night monitoring Core Advance Faint (effects all units within 12" of the titan as is falls from exhaustion, 2 D6 hits per unit STR 10 AP 3)
Cory's 2 cents Havoc Missile Launcher (During the shooting phase roll a D6, on a 5-6 the tylenda Terror Titan will give you his thoughts on a problem, all units enemy and friendly within 24" suffer 4 instant death wounds, no saves allowed)
Titan Special Rules and Movement
Tylenda Terror Titan always has the special ability Fleet (instead of shooting you may roll a D6. Move a number of inches equal to that on the D6) This accounts for its unnaturally awkward walk and tendencies to rush around a lot.
He's and Odd One: At the beginning of the turn roll a D6 for the Tylenda Terror Titan's Movement. Consult the chart below for Titan Movement.
Roll of 1 Urgent Issues Email. Remove the Titan from the Game. The titan has sent an email about urgent issues he is busy working on and will not be at the game. You may not use other units to make up the lost points. If you have a tech marine character on the table you may reroll this die but you must accept the second result. (your better off without him!!!!
Roll of 2 Asskiss of Death. Remove the Titan from the table and deepstrike it into you opponents deployment zone close to their Commander or HQs. The titan is unable to shoot or assault this turn and instead makes a Brown Nose psychic check. If it passes, all your opponents units gain a +1 to leadership and an extra attack during that turn. Your teams units movement is halved for the turn.
Roll of 3 Vacation Day. Remove the titan from the game during your turn. During your opponent's turn, after they have chosen all their targets that are not the titan, place the titan back on the board saying "I decided to come in to work today instead."
Roll of 4 Player controls normally.
Roll of 5 Soooo BUSY! Move the Titan 4D6 inches towards your deployment table edge. The titan is too busy with issues and calls to shoot or assault this turn. If this results in the titan moving off the table, you may redeploy the titan next turn via the Deepstrike rules.
Roll of 6 Mentoring. Your opponent selects a unit within 12" of the titan. During the movement phase the titan will follow that unit movement as closely as possible. All shots fired must pass a target priority check or they will hit the unit the titan is "mentoring".
Structure Points: 4
Void Shields: 2
Reactor Overload! In the event that all structure points are removed the titan will create an apocalyptic explosion. Remove the Tylenda Terror Titan and replace it with a crater. Due to the large blast all units within 24" are removed from the game. If this overload occurred during a turn where a roll of Sooooo BUSY! was rolled, then the added stress on the titan's reactor doubles the explosion radius to 48"