Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

[netter]

It's really bad. Save your money.

Even if you didn't read the book, or don't care, this was not a great watch. You have been advised.

netter

[fishboy]

I liked it...hated the ending.

On a side note pee before you go in or bring a cup. Movie is VERY LONG hehe.

If you are canadian and red haird you can just pee on yourself...we expect it

[netter]

...and my hatred makes me post...

Where the Hobbit Missed

My recollection of the first movie faded, but near as I can tell, here are some changes where the story missed the book and generally missed in value. I have placed the changes into two categories: Whatever and Garbage. The Whatever category simply means that it was not a negative change and just breaks even from a story perspective; even if it sucks. The Garbage category deals with changes that were bad and have little to no meaningful justification beyond marketing, filler or things like that.

Whatever

• Introduction of the dwarves at Bag End was rushed.
• The troll scene was shortened and modified.
• The ‘White Council’ meeting at Rivendell.
• Galadriel still portrayed as freaky as ever.
• Galadriel has telepathic connection with Gandalf.
• Escape from the goblins in the Misty Mountains was modified and a little over the top.
• The encounter with Beorn was shortened and modified a great deal.
• Skipped the river in Mirkwood.
• The initial Legolas/Tauriel inclusion.
• Heavy modification of the arrival and stay in Laketown.
• Last minute arrival on Durin’s Day and sequence at the secret door.
• Additional stuff with Gandalf and Radagast in Dol Guldur added.

This list is mainly what I can think of quickly and doesn’t include minor details or trivial changes.

Garbage:

• Cleanup scene with the Dwarves in Bag End was over the top and cartoony.
• Orcs and wargs chasing the party before Rivendell was a complete add on.
• Boss orc and his connection to Thorin is an inaccurate take on previous events in the history. It was also an addition.
• Radagast added in from other books.
• Radagast depiction was a little over the top.
• Radagast chariot/sled thing completely invented and added.
• Storm scene on the Misty Mountains over the top and elements invented. Obvious excuse for an intense 3D scene.
• Riddles in the dark scene with Bilbo and Gollum. This borders on being in the ‘Whatever’ category; but when they shorten one of the better scenes in the book because they’ve added tons of crap, it becomes garbage.
• The escape from the wargs and goblins in the pine trees was modified, but isn’t in the garbage category because of that. None of the party engages the goblins or wargs in combat, and Bilbo never saves Thorin in a fight.
• Beorn is portrayed as being an out of control beast when in bear form. Not true and added nothing.
• The trail/road through Mirkwood Forest being a difficult path to follow was an addition.
• The psychedelic experience of the ‘heavy air’ of Mirkwood was, at best, a distortion of a single scene in the book; at worst, it was poor mechanism to explain the easy capture of the dwarves by the spiders.
• The scene of Bilbo climbing through the forest canopy and looking around was visually inaccurate.
• Bilbo and the spiders was shortened and bits added. Like the riddle scene, this borders on ‘Whatever’ except that it was another great book scene shortened to accommodate crap.
• Kili putting the moves on Tauriel is a complete invention. It is also a remarkably stupid addition to the story. (With all the deep, romantic exchanges between them, I was waiting for him to hang upside down in the rain and kiss her.)
• The escape in the barrels through the river was way, way over the top. The entire engagement with the dwarves and orcs during the scene was an invention. Another obvious means of adding a 3D scene. (The second worst scene in the movie)
• The character of Bard was changed substantially. I could suffer the Laketown change, but Bard is too a pivotal character to be turned into a barge worker.
• Leaving part of the party behind in Laketown was a complete change. This makes it to the ‘Garbage’ slot because it was only done to further the romance BS between Kili and Tauriel.
• More orcs and elves, this time in Laketown. Invented and a waste of screen time.
• The ‘Tauriel dry humps Kili’s leg back to health’ scene was pretty bad and there was nothing like it in the book. I giggled.
• Initial encounter between Bilbo and Smaug was modified. Another great book scene shortened for the sake of other crap.
• The broader sequence of events with Bilbo, Smaug and what they initially do around the mountain are changed. Throws some things off without serving much purpose.
• The entire series of scenes with the dwarves and Smaug under the mountain was invented. It was also so far over the top, and so completely cartoony stupid that I giggled out loud. I giggled a lot during all that. The absolute worst scenes in the two movies by a landslide. The entire set of scenes was something out of a Warner Brothers cartoon.

Anyway, it was terrible.

netter

PS In Canada, the theatre lets you pee on yourself, regardless of hair colour. We expect it, too.